In a world where “no” often feels like a word from a foreign language, learning to decline gracefully is a habit worth mastering. Klara Kernig, an educator and self-help guru who helps people pleasers learn how to rebuild their healthy boundaries, offers five ways to politely decline without deploying falsehoods or taking a guilt trip:

Polite Rejection with a Promise

When invited out but unable to commit due to a scheduling conflict, whether formal or informal, opt for honesty with a touch of consideration. Saying, “I wish I could, but I have other plans,” gracefully conveys your unavailability while leaving the door open for future arrangements.

It’s not deceitful — nor should it make any reasonable person feel brushed off — instead, it opens the way for rescheduling. Even if a “plan” involves self-care or downtime, prioritizing your well-being is a valid commitment.

Tactful Declination with a Hint of Future Engagement

Sometimes, you can express appreciation in both a “yes” and a “no.” When faced with an invitation you can’t accept, employ this courteous response: “I wish I could, but I have other plans.” Express your regret gracefully and suggest rescheduling for another time.

These “other plans” need not be elaborate or false. Consider dedicating the day to self-care, whether a solo spa day or a simple moment of relaxation at home. Even having nothing planned can be a valid choice for prioritizing mental well-being. After all, burnout runs counter to efficiency, both professionally and personally.

Remember, declining invitations doesn’t have to mean shutting people out. By expressing gratitude and offering the possibility of future engagements, you can maintain connections while honoring your needs.

Rejecting Invitations with Grace

Declining invitations to events you might dread can be challenging, especially for those inclined to please others. Politely declining while maintaining the air of grace is key. Don’t suffer through unpleasant outings; be honest yet tactful. Express appreciation for the invitation, then gently decline, saying, “Thanks, but that’s not really my thing.”

Offering alternative suggestions can soften the refusal and keep the interaction positive. Suggesting another person to go in your stead or proposing an activity you both enjoy can defuse any tension. With practice, saying no will become easier, and others will begin to respect your boundaries.

Setting Boundaries, Honoring Your Comfort Zone

When faced with a daunting invitation (i.e., sky diving), it’s crucial to prioritize your comfort and safety. Instead of feeling pressured to agree, decline politely. Express your feelings honestly. “That doesn’t sound great to me, and it would make me uncomfortable” is a perfectly valid response.

Standing firm in your decision is essential for safeguarding your well-being and self-respect. Stepping out of your comfort zone occasionally is fine, but leaving it behind altogether on behalf of someone else may develop a false impression. Still, it won’t grow the real you.

Honesty in Declining Requests

When juggling multiple responsibilities, it’s vital to honestly convey your capacity, especially if someone asks for your time during a hectic period, in which case, it’s okay to decline graciously. “I have a lot on my plate right now” demonstrates respect for your limitations while affirming your commitment to self-care.

By being transparent, you communicate that your decision isn’t personal. Friends and colleagues will understand and appreciate your candor. Remember, it’s not about avoiding obligations but managing them to ensure that you can fulfill them effectively.